冷？莫。

你可以说我冷漠，但不代表我不关心，别人说出口的也未必真心；

你可以说我冷漠，但不代表我不懂交际，只是不想整天戴着面具；

你可以说我冷漠，但不代表生活乏味，只是更享受我自己的世界；

你可以说我冷漠，但不代表与世隔绝，只是比较享受独处的时间；

你可以说我冷漠，但不代表不注重感情，真情不需要行动来说明；

你可以说我冷漠，但不代表不懂人情，只是认为有标准的不叫情；

你可以说我冷漠，沉默寡言也不算是错，只是怕了自己讲多错多；

你可以说我冷漠，不喜欢交际不是弱，只是一些人已经失去自我。

Sense of Belonging

Actually some time I will condemn the big part of the Chinese community because they are only focus on helping Chinese and did not think about seeing ourselves as Malaysian and help Malaysian in general. We often condemn the Malay government only care for Malay but aren't we the same? I can still heard many Chinese said "Chinese must help Chinese".

However, in the same time, I noticed that one of the cause of this phenomena is because Chinese has less sense of belonging in our country - Malaysia. I agree in some way that we, Chinese Malaysian are being treated like second class citizen. Government will say: "Many poor people are bumiputra, that's why we have to help them". Chinese community will then say:" Then we should help the people according to their economy status, not races".

Chinese community is always the races with strongest economic status, I can understand why Malay politician being so defensive toward other races, because in this capitalism world, who has more money, he will gain power easier. Moreover, Chinese are very protective against our language and culture, thus Malay community will be afraid that if they didn't hold on to the power they are having now, they will be the one who got neglected. By looking at this situation, Some politicians try to suppress Chinese community to avoid Chinese becoming more powerful.

With a lot of policies implemented by the current government, it makes Chinese Malaysian has lesser and lesser sense of belonging to our country because we have less privileges even we work very hard or even harder than some of the other races. Some "people"(or katak) said that we should be grateful because they have already give-in a lot to Chinese; but without the hard-work of other races and the colonization of British, do you seriously think that our country can develop that fast? Why aren't those "people" be grateful?

I am thinking, if our government change their policy, where they try to give the Chinese community more sense of belonging to this country,  they maybe can make the Chinese to even help the other races more generously instead of just protect Chinese people. But because of the "divide and rule" policy, Chinese are less willing to help other races because Chinese received different treatment and has less sense of belonging to our country. Ideally, when we all work together truthfully, we can solve the problem in our country easier!

Ideally, yes it's just ideally. Maybe Chinese who is reading this post will agree with what I said above; but ask yourselves, if you are have all the privileges and power, are you willing to help other races like you help Chinese? Are you willing to donate big amount of money to help build Malay school? For these, you might say yes.

Next, are you willing to adhere the original contract stated in the Constitution, and respect the races who started the civilization in this land, by fully recognize Malay language as first language? Are you willing to accept for every official matter, we mainly use Malay language? Are you willing to give up vernacular school and together we build up a better education system as a whole? Or are you willing to abolish vernacular schools so that all children can study in a same environment where all children can live together and learn to understand and tolerate with each other more? (of course we must still have our right to choose to learn Mandarin and retain our cultures, but it will be all depends on personal choices). What I've stated doesn't mean I 100% agree with it, but I think this is what we should ponder upon and there must be give and take.

If you say no, then try to think in their position, will you let Chinese to share the same privileges? Anyhow, I still don't agree with many of the current government policy and this does not justify their wrong doing (especially using religion as a political tool). In the same time, Chinese, are you really willing to fully being recognize as Malaysian and tell everyone that we are "Ma lai xi ya Ren", not stressing on "Hua Ren"?

I believe if we "live together", communicate more, better understanding and toleration among races will be achieved. There will be less comments such as "Muslim prayer is so noisy; Buddhist praying pollute the environment; Christian try to convert others, Hindu smells bad; Malay is lazy; Chinese is money-face; Indian always tell lies..." (I can still hear this kind of comments here and there). Even different family within same races have different culture, if we deeply understand others culture, we will not likely to have negative feeling toward others.

In this democratic world, everything is possible to be changed with the agreement of majority of the people, even the Constitution. However, when we want to change, we should also be more considerate and walk in other people's shoes. Sometimes it's not just the politicians want to divide-and-rules, some Chinese want to be "divided" by sticking many thing in Chinese way.

What I said is never the "correct" way nor the best way to improve our country, the "best" way we thought might be "best" for us, but not for others. However, to give and take is a better way in my opinion where I try to find a balance among the Malaysian, because --- I belong to Malaysia.

To have or not to have

When I'm planning when to have a baby, one question pops up in my mind: why do people want to have children? (regardless of those who want to have heir to continue their family line, or those who want to have someone to manage their funeral) 

There are already so many humans in this world, so many problems among humans, and so many problems CAUSED by humans, that we haven't solved. Moreover, it adds more worries and burdens to our life (more pain for my wife). So, why do people still want to have children? Any reasons for me to have a child? Wouldn't it be better if we just adopt orphans?

We haven't decided still, and right now I don't want to think about what our parents might think. But if one day I have my own child, I think the only reason would be: there will be another awesome fella in this world to help make the world a better place. :)

某些人眼中的卖华，我眼中的和平

(Warning: If you'd really like to continue reading this post, please stay neutral until you finish the whole text, and only comment after that. Don't just quote part of my words, 断章取义)

Even though I'm a Chinese, I don't agree with a certain mindset of the Chinese Society.
I agree that all races should have our rights to learn our own mother tongue. To me, however, the Chinese community is over-protecting and over-promoting Chinese language, until a lot of the Chinese (especially kids) neglected National Language. 

These actions might benefit part of the Chinese Community, but the others (especially the poor and less-educated one) are the 'victims' of this issue.
Some of us will think why I need to learn national language since I can study in Mandarin throughout my school years? For those who can afford to study in Chinese Independent School, it maybe still okay. For those who cannot afford, they also think the same; but the cruel reality is, they fail in their studies because of that, because they were being taught that Chinese who know Mandarin is more than enough. From there, they lost their opportunity to excel in their studies and stay in low income community because they have to enter government school where suddenly they have to study many subjects in National language which they don't even know how to read it!

So you might think,"that's why we should fight for the Chinese, so all Chinese can study in Mandarin all the way long!" If we manage to get this opportunity (which is what we are having now with all the Chinese primary and Independent schools), you seriously think that all Malaysians can unite? I'm sure it further tears the nation apart. I'm a Chinese yes, but I'm also a Malaysian! What I wish to see is all of us unite together rather than just Chinese unite together. I know some other races don't think that way and just want their 'Ketuanan', but not all of them are like that! Moreover, if people are selfish, does it mean that we should also be selfish? We should also play our part to unite the nation! Sometimes they are like that is probably because they get worried when the Chinese are over-protective of the pure Chinese Education policy. (I know some will say then we will get bullied and Chinese culture will die, that's another topic). It's like both sides are pulling the opposite ends of rubber band and if we pull further apart, in the end it will snap and both sides will get hurt. Both sides should learn to let go slowly. Don't just think of what people should do, think of what we can do.

People often compare Malaysia with other countries such as US. US can have an black President, they have more equal rights and so on...
Question here: do you see African Americans study / speak in their native language such as Afroasiatic?
Based on my studies on some sociology articles, I seriously believe to unite the nation, national language plays an important part.
Also, do you know that a lot of students don't mix together with other races just because they cannot communicate with them? And my experiences has taught me that among them, they will start forming groups against other races. If they have already developed a 'racist' mindset during younger stages and in their school years, it's really hard to change it even after they have learn how to speak the national language later because they don't understand other people's cultures and are less likely to tolerate.

The last part is what you might question earlier, why we should give in to Malay Language?
So what do you suggest to be used as National Language? Mandarin? Tamil? I know, you might say "English! like Singapore!"
Just try to imagine the situation the other way round: If Chinese people are the one who build up the civilization and Malays came later, do you really think the Chinese will agree if the Malays said they want English to become the National language?
Some still argue that Malays are not local. Please think rationally, if they are not local, do you seriously think throughout so many years, there are so many people speaking Malay? Please study comprehensive History before you want to argue this, don't just hear say.
I know nowadays, there are a lot of Malays are not 'local', many are from Indonesia. But if you study History, Malays are still the main people who build up the civilization in this land.
Even though a small group of Chinese also reached this land much earlier than what we know, but we are still from China originally and do not contribute as much as Malay in the early years. 
Let's go back to the question above, people come to the country that you build up and ask you to change the national language, will you? If you say yes, then please try to go and persuade China to use English as national language.

I said all this not because I'm pro-Malay and dislike myself as a Chinese, I'm just trying to save the poor Chinese kids, and most importantly, to find a more reasonable solution for everyone to achieve unity in Malaysia.

(*P/S: I'm not a supporter of any political party, but if you want me to vote, I'll vote BN OUT! because obviously i'm 'Malaysian first, Chinese Second' ;) )

病

很多人会说社会‘病’了，但又有多少人会说自己‘病’了？或了解自己很可能是社会病的其中一个起因？
我们每一个自私的动作，都很可能间接让这社会病得越来越严重。
这是一个我从中学时期就开始有的教学理念。
希望人类（当然包括我自己），可以为社会、为地球，少点自私……

For Students

Recently, I’m being labeled as ‘38’(busybody) by student and. I understand why the student/students label me like that, but I’m here to try to let others understand why I’m doing all that...

From the most basic view, students will do something which break the school rules, as a teacher, I just being responsible to take action on those students. Although I’m not a discipline teacher, I still have the right and responsibility to be aware of students’ discipline. Moreover, the teachers who are supposed to do their job, they are not really doing their jobs well enough! So for the sake of the school, I took extra effort and initiative to do it and I'm also being responsible.

But what is more important is, why do I want to do all that? For some students, obviously it’s busybody because they don’t like it. For me, firstly, I was a bad students last time, I’ve been through the process and iIreally hope my students don’t repeat my mistakes. Secondly, I strongly believe that a lot of disaster and problem in our world and society is because of the selfishness of the human being and not enough understanding between people. Just a simple example, you can see a lot of people who are very rich but their character is like shit, I don’t wish to see anymore disaster and I don’t want my students to be a selfish person like those morons, that’s why i’m very passionate in EDUCATE my students. Some teachers maybe don't care about your character but I care. You prefer teacher who let you rot? Well I'm really sorry to say that I can't make it...

Students, for simple thing like cutting queue, you don’t like teacher nag/scold you on that, but did you try to understand the teachers and others students feeling? If we don’t bother, more and more students will feel unhappy and think “they can do, why can’t I? Teachers don’t care also”. Even some who didn't think like that, do you think they are happy with it? You want teacher to care for your feelings, then did you care for others feeling? Small bad habit can bring disaster in your later life and also to others..

By doing all that, what I’ve got? Some teachers will think I try to override their power and they'll talk bad about me; more and more students will hate me because they don’t like teacher to scold them; my supervisor will say “we are counselors, we try not to be so harsh to students”. But the fact is some teacher not doing their jobs well and I want to educate my students, I don’t want you all to develop bad character and learn to  think of other people. Do you think I feel good in facing all that situations? To balance all that, I try to use more different ways from discipline teacher or principal, I try to advice first and so on, but not many students will just listen when I talk nicely. That’s why it made me become more fierce than before.

I’m not saint, I can’t be sure that I can control my temper every minute every second, but I know I didn’t do anything which is wrong according to rules.

From what happened recently, I realize it would be better for me to adjust my way of doing things like last time, I try to be as ‘counselor’ as I can. But i’m still very passionate in educating my students and I’m still a human being...

Counseling Speech 2

This is the content of my speech during the assembly on 9th of November 2010 (if not mistaken):

......Today, i have an experience to share. I think you, students, often hear teachers talking about good students and bad students. But i know students also talk about good teachers and bad teachers. So for me, am i being label as a a good teacher or a lousy teacher? I experienced both. Some students told me, “Mr.Fredy, you are a good teacher”; at the same time, you can read at the 3rd floor prep hall’s whiteboard which says “Lousy counselor, we don’t need you Freddy Chan, get lost from our school” (Although they spell my name wrongly, but i don’t think they are mentioning another person). So what is a good teacher & what is a lousy teacher? When a teacher do things in a way you like, he/she is a good teacher; when a teacher scolds you, do things the way you don’t like, then that teacher is a bad teacher, that’s what i observed.

Anyway, that’s not the main thing i wanna talk about today. What i really want to share is about emotional management. As i mentioned just now, students write something unfavorable to me. At first, i was really angry. Although i’m a counselor, i know my rights as a teaching staff and i was thinking of taking disciplinary action on those students. But i didn’t do that, because i thought that maybe i should take this opportunity to reflect on myself first. So I thought, although i did nothing wrong, but as a counselor i can use other approaches instead of scolding students. I’ve taken this opportunity to try to improve myself instead of just to taking action on students to get back my rights, or pride, to relieve my anger. Students might stop doing nonsense out of fear but did i fulfill my job as a educator? When I lose my temper and scold students or speak harshly with students, this may distant students from me, and i won’t be able to fulfill my job as a counselor, because students may not feel comfortable to share things with me when they need. More over, if i’m being emotional and ‘swallow’ their words saying, “we don’t need you”, i might give up the job, giving up on the majority students by listening to just some minority voices. These are some of my reflections.

So for you students, when your friends say bad things to you, call you names, or when your teacher scolds you; instead of getting angry and fight back, do you try to reflect on yourself, and try to improve yourself? Or you just say that person is lousy, talk back to teachers, call other names which you yourself don’t like it, or to pick a fight. By doing all that, you might relieve your anger temporarily, but does it do you any further good? Or actually it bring you more harm later, and let the negative power cycle around?

I want to dedicate my words especially to those students who are going to graduate. I hope besides being successful in your academic, and maybe sports, you’ll also learn to improve your character. Learn to reflect on yourself. You might think all your attitude is ok for you for now, or even in your college years. But in the future, when you still don’t try to learn how to reflect on yourself and change, you might bring damage to yourself. So later when you go back to the prep hall and see those words, instead of laughing at it, i hope you can think about what i’ve said. Think about it not for me, but for yourself.

Last thing before I finish my speech. Maybe you’ll hear about rumors about another person, but before you clarify, please don’t take others opinion as a fact and believe it. Even you yourself, sometimes believe in something without clarifying the whole thing. Things happened before where students fight because his friend is saying something about another person, which is not true, or not the whole truth, and turns out that students believe it and fight back with the innocent students. Maybe you don’t want to listen to me right now, but in the future when you really face some difficult situation, i hope you still can remember what i’ve said. Good luck for your exam, and good luck for your future!